One More Than Ninetynine Drabbles
by Astiza
Summary: Drabble 100! Creatures of Saucery are not easily defeated...
1. Mother Pendragon

Merlin walked into Arthur's chambers with a crate. A feeble scratching and high-pitched quacking was coming from inside.

"What is _that_?" The prince asked, not looking up from his maps.

"Oh this?" Merlin lifted the crate lid. His eyes glowed for a moment before setting it on the floor. "Ducklings."

Arthur made a face and put down his quill. "_Mer_lin, I told you to buy duck _decoys_! Not baby ducks…"

The ducklings began cheeping as they bustled towards Arthur. The prince jumped up and walked away from them. They followed.

"Heh," Merlin laughed. "Looks like they're fond of you, sire."


	2. Frog In Your Throat

**Frog In Your Throat**

"Merlin what on earth are you doing?" Gaius looked up from one of his volumes on anatomy.

"Nothing." Merlin was on his hands and knees peering under a table. Gaius took off his glasses and laid the book down on his desk. Merlin made a queer noise.

"Merlin," Gaius said, curiosity piqued. "What do you find so interesting under there?"

Merlin stuck his head further under the table.

_Crooooakkk_

Gaius gave Merlin's back a suspicious look. "Was that you, Merlin?"

"Huh?" Merlin straightened up. "No, it was the frog."

"The frog..."


	3. Pleasant Dreams

Merlin was dreaming.

"Keep scrubbing," Merlin heard himself say. He minced across his chamber and sprinkled a little dirt from a small sack in his hand. "Oh … I think you missed a spot."

Prince Arthur shot his manservant a dirty look, lips firmly pressed together.

"I will say though, it's a good thing you're a knight Arthur."

"And why is that?" The Pendragon grumbled.

"Well," Merlin paused, sprinkling more dirt. "You've got good arms for scrubbing. You could do the leech tank."

"MERLIN!" Merlin started awake. He was sprawled on a soapy floor. An angry prince stood over him.


	4. Lance and Hoops: Take 1

Merlin grimaced as Arthur came careening towards him on his bay charger. The prince's lance was lowered and Merlin screwed his eyes shut as it came closer and closer and _closer_.

He ducked. It was more of a reflexive than fearful motion ... although there was a good amount of fear too.

Arthur's lance speared the air where Merlin's hoop had just been. Pulling up short, the thoroughly irate prat dismounted and stalked over to his guilty looking manservant.

"_Mer_lin!" He shouted, jabbing a finger. "You're supposed to _hold_ the hoop. This isn't moving target practice!"

Merlin dropped the hoop neatly over Arthur's accusatory finger. "There you go."


	5. A Little Recognition Never Hurt

Merlin was frustrated. He never got any recognition.

"Father," came the prince's voice. "There is a group of kings in the courtyard with gifts for a _Dragonlord_."

"What on Earth?" The king swept out of the castle with his Arthur and Merlin in his wake. Outside, there were four regal stallions with a chest of coins.

"Your Lordship!" The kings bowed low. Uther looked perplexed.

"Be gone, there is no Dragonlord here."

The kings chuckled. "We do not address you, but the Dragonlord _Merlin_."

"_Mer_lin?" Arthur gaped. "What the-"

"You can put the horses in that stable." Merlin ordered, smiling.


	6. Miniature Merlin

Merlin peered around a goblet and trotted along the tabletop past the prince's breakfast. He'd have to reverse the spell before Arthur came back. Taking a flying leap, the young warlock launched himself off the table onto one of Arthur's strewn pillows. He could hear approaching footsteps.

Merlin squeezed inside the bottom drawer of Arthur's chest just as the prince came into the room. He stood in the darkness of the drawer and muttered the counter spell.

Arthur leaped out his chair as his wooden dresser strained and splintered. A full-sized Merlin tumbled out of a broken, fractured bottom drawer.


	7. There is Always a Choice

**There Is Always A Choice: Part 1**

**Please review! (:**

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><p>His arms were beginning to feel sore. And no wonder, he was dangling above a fire pit.<p>

"Let me down, Morgana," he demanded angrily, face red from his position.

Morgana smirked. "Not on your life, Merlin. It'll be a slow and painful death for you."

"You'll regret doing this, you know." He glared daggers at the smug woman standing below him.

Morgana smiled. It was not a pleasant expression. "Why?" She asked innocently. "You poisoned me."

"I had no choice!" Merlin shouted. Morgana threw her knife into the beam above his head and walked away.

"There is _always_ a choice."


	8. The Tall Battlements

**Okay, so I'm sorry if your inboxes had a seizure or something from the latest chapter updates. I was away in the boonies so to speak visiting rellies and there wasn't exactly any internet ... meh :/ so I finished that angsty series and then uploaded all the parts. Think of it as making up for lost time? I don't know. I won't be mass updating in the future, you can count on that! **

**Btw, I ~love~ reviews, they make my day.**

(:

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><p><strong>The Tall Battlements<strong>

Merlin had fallen off one of Camelot's battlements. The ones they always gazed off to see various parts of Camelot. Merlin leaned over the edge, looking at a pretty flower. He yelped as his grip faltered.

Later that night, he limped in to see Gaius.

"What happened to your blue shirt?" Gaius was shocked. It was covered in grass stains.

"I fell off the battlements of Camelot," Merlin shrugged, running a hand through his hair.

Gaius put his hands on his hips, "You mean ones we pretend are several stories up instead of three feet from the grass?"

"… Yeah, those are the ones!"


	9. Merlin is a Gay Man Now

**Alright, I was having wayy too good of a time watching that video clip of Colin as John Leary. XD Here ya go..**

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><p><strong>Our Merlin is a Gay Man Now<strong>

"I guess you heard about Merlin?" Gwen whispered to her prince as she was changing sheets.

"What about Merlin?"

Gwen giggled, "Well we all knew something was up with him. He's been _hiding_ something."

"He told me he was an open book, right before he tried to hug me… What's so funny?"

"Oh Arthur, Merlin is a gay man now." She pointed out the window to where Gwaine had an arm around Merlin on the training field. Arthur's eyes widened.

"I see." He paused, "What about Gwaine?"

Gwen shrugged. "Who can tell with men?"

"Right." Why did he suddenly feel jealous?


	10. Merlin's Dream Potion

**Merlin's Dream Potion**

Uther woke up one morning and looked in the mirror. He was unusually angry at something, but he couldn't quite place it. Suddenly, his eyes turned orange and the mirror shattered. The king shouted in surprise and covered his face from the flying shards.

Cowering on the floor, he picked up a broken piece of mirror and looked at his disheveled appearance.

"What has happened to me?" He asked.

The King woke up from his terrible dream, sweating. _I don't want to burn myself, _he thought. Marching out of his chambers, he made a declaration. "Magic is now legal in Camelot!"

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><p>Reviews?<p> 


	11. Snow Sculptures

**Hmm, sorry I haven't updated in awhile. Summer job and all = busyy! I had this written several days ago, but ... ya know. Shoot me a review?**

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><p><strong>Snow Knight<strong>

It was snowing in Camelot and Merlin was making something.

"Arthur," Merlin tugged the scarf away from his mouth. "Can I take off your armor?"

Arthur looked surprised and thought about what Gwen had said. "You want to _take off my armor_?"

Merlin was shocked, "Well yes! I just need to borrow it!"

"Oh...well go ahead then." Arthur stood in the snow while his manservant relieved him of the metal. Privately, Merlin wondered why Arthur was even wearing metal armor in the freezing cold.

He worked the armor onto his snow creation.

"It's you in snow-form," he announced proudly.


	12. Snow Sculptures part II

**Snow Sculptures part II**

"That looks _nothing_ like me, Merlin." Arthur stated. Merlin tilted his head as though he were trying out a different angle.

"Really?"

"Yes, _really_, Merlin."

"Oh… I'm not so sure. I think it's a perfect likeness of your royal—"

"Careful, Merlin." Arthur cautioned.

"Head."

"My head… looks _nothing_ like ... THAT!" the Prince gestured to a very pointy snow head.

"It's idiomatic!"

"What?"

"It's a dollop-shaped head. Just for you, Arthur." Merlin molded the snow a bit more.

Arthur frowned, "May I have my armor back now?" Merlin nodded and reached for the hauberk.

"Arthur?"

"What?"

"It's frozen on."

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><p><strong>So I thought I'd give you guys a two-parter since I ... since I felt like it.<strong>

**Review please (8?**


	13. That Rabbit's Dynamite!

**That Rabbit's Dynamite!**

Gwaine thumped Merlin on the back and passed him another ale. A bleary-eyed Merlin shook his head and pushed it away, "I shouldn't."

"But you know you want it," Gwaine coaxed, stroking the condensation on the mug. He traced a picture of a little bunny on the mug and pushed it towards Merlin. "I know you can't resist the bunny."

Merlin shook his head and closed his eyes.

"The cute, fluffy, adorable bunny…"

"Gwaine, it's a dangerous bunny," Merlin slurred.

"Yes I know," he ran a hand through his hair. "But it's cute nonetheless. With big nasty teeth a mile wide!"

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><p><strong>Hm, s<strong>**hould I try a Monty Python and the Holy Grail/Merlin crossover?**


	14. Modesty Never Hurt Anybody

**Modesty Never Hurt Anybody, Arthur!**

"Merlin, you really are far too modest for your own good." Arthur shook his head. "Just take it off!"

Merlin looked scandalized, "I can't take it off!" He took a step back, away from Arthur's shirtless form.

Arthur made a grab for the bottom of Merlin's shirt. "_Mer_lin. It's not going to hurt you." Merlin shook his head again. "You took off your neckerchief, why not the shirt?"

Merlin looked left and right. He took a step towards Arthur and whispered, "_They'll_ see me. And come after me!"

"Who will?" Arthur demanded.

"The fangirls!"

"Girls? … After _you_?"

"Shhhh, they'll hear you!"


	15. How Avalon got its Apple Trees

**I was eating an apple and well, I typed this with one hand. Oh =_="**

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><p><strong>How Avalon Got its Apple Trees<strong>

"Ugh," Arthur gagged. "I think I just swallowed an apple seed."

"Then you're just furthering one of nature's ways of replanting the world. Why don't we go to Avalon? I'll dig you a little hole and you could –"

Arthur made a face. "Merlin, if I wanted to plant an apple tree, I wouldn't do it _that_ way."

Merlin shrugged, "_Your_ stomach."

"What?" Arthur folded his harms across his chest. "What about my stomach? I am _not_ fat!"

Merlin chuckled, "Arthur, if you don't "replant" the apple seed, it'll grow in your stomach."

"Very funny."

"I can make it happen... Arthur Appleseed."


	16. The Merlin Horse

**More Holy Grail stuff ;D **

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><p><strong>Coconuts<strong>

"Gwaine?" Lancelot exited the tent and strode onto the training field. Gwaine was skipping around on the grass with Merlin in tow. The cavorting knight turned at the sound of his name and skipped towards Lancelot. He came to a sudden halt and said "Whoa!" Merlin stopped banging things behind him.

"Lancelot! Come and join us." Gwaine said, smiling.

Lancelot squinted at them, "What exactly are you up to?"

"We're riding."

"Riding?"

Merlin grinned around Gwaine, "Yeah, riding."

Lancelot sputtered, "You're using coconuts!"

"No we're not," Gwaine said. He looked at Merlin, "Are we?"

"You're drunk, Gwaine."

"Oh, right."

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><p>Mini part II:<p>

"Where did you get those coconuts anyway?" Lancelot asked.

"We found them," Merlin smiled.

"Found them? The coconut's tropical... they don't grow in Camelot or Mercia!"

"Birds fly south seeking warmer climates and return the following season." Gwaine defended his MerlinHorse.

Lancelot gestured with his sword, "Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"


	17. Special Drabble: Word Games

**I was doing the dishes and this popped into my head. I know it's longer than 100ish words... but that was rather necessary. Forgive me, my minions.**

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><p><strong>Special Edition: The Mad Lib<strong>

"Arthur, I need two proper names, an adjective, something really big, a verb, an adverb, and a number."

Arthur leaned against the wall thinking as Merlin tapped the quill impatiently on the desk.

"Alright," the prince said. "Merlin, Arthur, dollopheaded, a Pudsey, cry, stupidly, and five thousand."

Merlin hastily scribbled the words into the blanks. "Ha, want to hear it?"

"Yes."

"Once upon a time _(first name)_ Merlin, the Prince of Camelot, set out on an adventure with his _(adjective)_ dollopheaded manservant _(second name)_ Arthur who always carried the supplies. Arthur was_ (adverb)_ stupidly walking along when he had the sudden urge to _(verb)_ cry."

"Wait a minute!"

"You reversed the names!"

"Prince Merlin ignored his dollopheaded manservant. This was a mistake, because he walked right into _(number)_ five thousand _(something big)_ Pudsey(s). As usual, Arthur, came to the prince's rescue and the five thousand Pudsey(s) fled in terror."

"Well that's more like it." Arthur gave Merlin a love-punch.

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><p>Oh the irony of it all... (: Review please?<p> 


	18. Merlin Incognito

**Hello my lovelies~ Thank you so much for all of your reviews!**

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><p><strong>Cleopatra<strong>

Lancelot pulled Merlin into Gwen's house. "Look Merlin, if Arthur sees your clothes like that he'll know it was you who killed that sorcerer. We've got to get you back to Gaius' in secret."

"I'll go in disguise," Merlin reached for one of Gwen's spare dresses. "Arthur won't recognize me!" He began to peel out of his clothes stained with mage fire and other tell-tale sorcery marks.

Lancelot cleared his throat, "Um, Merlin?"

"What?" Merlin shimmied into a bright yellow dress. "How do I look?"

Lancelot smiled, "Lovely. But I was thinking we'd just roll you up in a rug or something."


	19. Official Robes

**New Robes for Merlin**

Merlin heaved a sigh as he stood in front of a mirror. He was covered head to toe in a purple robe with a very pointy hat. Gwen was pinning the hem on his new robe, commissioned especially for him by Arthur.

"I think you look great, Merlin." Gwen offered, smiling around the pins in her mouth.

The warlock folded his arms over his slight chest. "Great? I look ridiculous!"

"I thought this looked more official." King Arthur said, surveying the fitting of the robes for his new Court Sorcerer.

Merlin glared. "More official than what?"

"That red thing you wear all the time."


	20. Do Not Prank Emrys

**Pranks**

Arthur and his knights decided to play a prank on Merlin.

"Are you ready?" Arthur whispered.

Lancelot looked at Arthur, "I don't know if it's safe. There's no telling what Merlin will do if he doesn't know it's us."

"And what could he possibly do to _us_, Lancelot?"

Lancelot shrugged, "You'd be surprised."

"What are you talking about?" Arthur asked. Gwaine gave him a look as well.

"There's more to Merlin than meets the eye."

Arthur and his knights ambushed Merlin in the woods that afternoon.

Shortly afterwards, they found themselves strung up in the branches of the trees, looking at a confused Merlin.

"Arthur?"

"...Merlin...?"

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><p><strong>Reviews? :D<strong>


	21. Gifts for Merlin

**Happy Independence Day for America~**

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><p>It was Merlin's birthday and the King had thrown him a party. The great hall had been decorated with tapestries and ribbons. Candles cast a lovely glow. Arthur gave Merlin the seat of honor.<p>

"What?"

Yes, Merlin was sitting in Arthur's special chair for the evening and was even permitted to drink from the royal goblet.

"I have a … royal goblet?"

Gwaine was busy passing drinks to his fellow knights. And Arthur presented Merlin with a gift wrapped carefully in red paper. Inside was the Crystal of Neahtid.

"I can't give him that!"

You just did.

"Because you made me!"


	22. One Last Shot part I

**Alright, here's a bit of angstish/sadness for you guys. Review please!  
><strong>

**Part 1 of 3**

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><p><strong>One Last Shot: Part I<strong>

Arthur was swinging his sword in fury as though he could hack away the pain of Merlin's betrayal. He had _seen_ him use magic to protect Lancelot. There was no denying it. The cheeky idiot who called his prince a prat was a sorcerer.

Merlin saw the anger in Arthur's eyes and knew it was directed at him. So he had taken up a sword instead of cowering by a tree and leaped into the fray, refusing to use his magic.

He would prove to Arthur that magic or not, he was still Merlin. He'd still die to protect him.


	23. One Last Shot part II

**One Last Shot: part II**

Gwaine glanced at the tree where Merlin was supposed to be, safely guarded by him while the warlock worked his spells. It was empty.

It was then that Arthur heard Gwaine shout.

Gwaine took off across the clearing, violently shoving aside anyone remotely near him. His sword sung as it cut down the men, leaving a path of blood as he made his way towards Merlin.

Merlin really shouldn't have leapt into the fray, _but his desire to prove himself to Arthur_… Gwaine collapsed beside his friend and held Merlin to his chest. His best friend. His only friend. Was dying.

He knew why.

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><p>I'm a huge MerlinGwaine fan... not exactly in the slash sense, but... aljfl;ajflk Gwaine hugged Merlin! XD


	24. One Last Shot part III

**One Last Shot: part III**

The attack died down until Arthur and Gwaine were the only ones left in the forest. Arthur stared dumbstruck at his bloodied manservant lying in the leaves. Gwaine's head was bowed.

The shock of it all came tumbling down like the impact of a lance and Arthur instantly rushed to Merlin's side. He hadn't meant for it to end like this. He never really wanted Merlin _dead_ for his crimes.

_Were_ they crimes? For goodness sake, he was _Merlin!_

"You killed him," Gwaine's voice was heavy with grief. "When he would have gladly _given_ his life for yours."

Arthur had no words.

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><p>End (: Any requestsprompts for the next ones?


	25. Good Morning Arthur

**Good Morning Arthur**

That evening, Arthur came back from patrol utterly exhausted. His room was dark and he made his way unsteadily towards the bed. He flopped down on the edge of the mattress and promptly fell asleep.

He was having a pleasant dream. Gwen was sleeping beside him and he held her close.

"Merlin!" Gaius shouted into Arthur's chambers the next morning. "Wake up! What on earth have you been doing?"

Merlin started awake and his hands flew to his head as he remembered he had fallen asleep in Arthur's room. Now he was trapped with Arthur's arm draped over his waist.


	26. On the Set of Merlin

**On the Set of Merlin**

Camelot was waking up. Merlin stretched and yawned as he stumbled out of his room to go wake up Arthur. He pulled open the door and stepped into the corridor. Except… there was no corridor.

Merlin was standing in a warehouse filled with little box-shaped wooden rooms that were scattered all about. Some didn't even have four walls and none had any roofs.

From across the warehouse, Merlin could hear Uther bellowing as he pulled open the doors to the throne room.

"What kind of sorcery is this?"

The director and camera crew shuffled around nervously. No one wanted to get on Uther's bad side.


	27. A Mysterious Package

**Sorry I didn't update yesterday! I can't quite remember what I was doing ... but obviously I wasn't writing. Oh yeah, I was reading the Pendragon Institute series. o.O Odd since I'm classically not an AU/slash fan... but! I love it. So go read it! (After you read & review this drabble of course)**

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><p><strong>A Mysterious Package<strong>

Arthur woke up that morning to find a small package sitting on the table in his room. It was wrapped neatly in red cloth with his name on a little tag scrawled hastily in ink. He looked about the room, wondering who could possibly have put it there. Who in the entire castle has access to his rooms at any hour? Who has a supply of red cloth with which to wrap gifts?

Well, Arthur sure didn't know.

"It must be the work of magic," he thought, prodding the package with his dagger. "How else would it have gotten in here?"


	28. Royally Painful Splinters

**Royally Painful Splinters**

With a quick flick of the dagger the red cloth fell away revealing a wooden box. Arthur frowned and tried to pry it open but hissed in pain when all he got was a fat splinter.

Just then, Merlin walked into the prince's chambers struggling with a load of laundry.

"Problem, sire?"

"Shut up, _Mer_lin. This stupid box gave me a splinter!"

Merlin clucked his tongue, "That's serious."

Arthur gave him The Look.

"I'll get out it for you then shall I?" Merlin quipped, fiddling with the splinter.

"Merlin you _idiot_, that hurt like hell!"

"There's just no pleasing you."


	29. In Which Arthur Wants A Pillow

**In Which Arthur Wants A Pillow**

Arthur sagged against his bed, his hand automatically going to his shoulder to rub some feeling back into it. "Merlin," he drawled. "Where's that extra pillow at?"

Merlin looked up, tilting his head in annoyance from his scrubbing. "You mean the red one? The gold one? The bolster? The little flat one or the regular white ones?"

Arthur rolled his eyes and flopped back onto the bed, "My whole back aches," he complained. "Get me some wine or go do something useful."

"Prat," Merlin said gently, smiling. But he dropped his rag into the bucket and went to pour his prince a drink.


	30. Insect Induced Paranoia

**Insect Induced Paranoia**

"Father? ...What are you doing?" Arthur asked thinking the king had lost his mind. Uther was impaling insects on the window sill.

"I caught them skulking in my chambers last night. Glowing. They are using sorcery and must therefore die. You of all people should understand that!" Uther snatched up a jar and net. "I must go out and fight this evil myself. In my absence, I am leaving Merlin in charge of things. He is a valuable ally in the fight against magic." Uther swept out of the room, bug-catching equipment in hand.

"_Mer_lin?"

The fireflies twitched their last.

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><p><strong>Would anyone like to do a picture of this scene: Uther riding full tilt into the forest with a jar and net ?<strong>

**Would you guys like some more Merthur drabble fluff? I'll write some upon** **request (:**


	31. Otherworldly Controls

**Otherworldly Controls**

"Arthur?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm bored."

Merlin lay sprawled in front of the hearth. "And you can't think of any chores for me to do."

Arthur _was_ at a loss. This morning he had run out of tasks for his surly manservant and now they were just lying around his chambers.

"It's probably because Astiza has writing block now," Merlin continued.

"Who?" The prince propped his feet up on the table.

"That girl who tortures me all the time. She's the reason we're stuck in here actually."

Arthur raised his eyebrows at his dark-haired friend. "Why don't you go clean all of Camelot's chimneys, _Mer_lin?"


	32. Farewell to Merlin

**Farewell to Merlin**

Arthur knelt beside his dying manservant in the little back room. Gwaine had come to fetch him early that morning, telling him the terrible news. The two knights sat beside Merlin, Gwaine sobbing into a pillow and Arthur stroking Merlin's hair.

"Please don't leave me, idiot," he murmured and laid a gentle kiss on Merlin's brow.

Merlin's eyes shot open and he sat up sputtering, "Arthur? Wh-what are you doing?"

Arthur sat back in utter shock. And Gwaine's sobs had turned to laughter.

"I got you to kiss Merlin!"

"You told me he was _dying_!" Arthur was livid.

"Sorry, mate. Must've been the drink."


	33. New Hobbies

**I just deleted 6 of the drabble chapters that I thought were lame (that weird, drawn out 7-parter) so if you now have broken links in your updates for chapter 38: Farewell to Merlin (which has subsequently become chapter 32) I'm sorry. XD So here's chapter ... 33 I guess. I hope your nice reviews stayed intact!**

**Review please~**

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><p><strong>New Hobbies<strong>

It was a bright and sweaty day and Merlin had taken to wearing his neckerchief on his head.

"That looks ridiculous," Arthur said during training.

Merlin frowned. "It's keeping the sweat out of my eyes," he retorted. "And I think it looks nice with the extra embroidery."

"You embroidered it?" Arthur stopped mid-swing. Merlin shrugged evasively.

"You are such a girl's embroidery hoop! What else have you been _embroidering_?"

Merlin rolled his eyes at Arthur. The prince gave his tunic a good look for the first time that day.

He tackled his manservant to the ground upon seeing the pink Pendragon polka-dots.


	34. Choice of Loyalty

**I still have writer's block so ... if you have any ideas/prompts please let me know!**

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><p><strong>Choice of Loyalty<strong>

It had been years since Arthur had banished Merlin from Camelot for high crimes and treason. Now he stood against his enemy's army with only his host of knights. No comforting presence on his right.

The enemy advanced and Arthur steadied his horse, his knights fanning out beside him.

There was a sudden whirlwind on the field and a familiar neckerchief-wearing person stood between them.

Arthur's enemy beseeched him, shouting, "O Mighty Emrys, fight for me!" And Merlin turned towards him. Arthur felt his heart sinking.

"I will fight for you when your tyranny ends." Merlin went to stand beside his king.


	35. Minstrels of Camelot

**Minstrels of Camelot**

Arthur was heading towards the stables when he heard the most beautiful singing. The pleasant melody brought a smile to the prince's face and a bounce to his step. The music was coming from the hay loft.

Arthur climbed up the ladder to find the owner of the lovely voice.

"You're the voice try and understand it," the voice sang out. "Make a noise and – Sire!"

Merlin, Gwaine, and Lancelot quickly put down their instruments and turned sheepishly to the prince.

Arthur gaped and asked, "Is this what you all do in your spare time? ...Who was singing?"

"We all were."


	36. Crossword Clues

**Crossword Puzzle**

"Merlin, what are you up to?" Gwaine and Lancelot peered over Merlin's shoulder.

"I found this in Arthur's chambers. It's some sort of puzzle, but half of the clues don't make sense." He pointed to the list of clues neatly printed on the paper. "They go in these boxes."

"So you spell them out?" Lancelot took a seat next to Merlin to help him puzzle out confusing paper. "What's this mean: 'Who is lost in Abervagenney station?' I've never heard of that place before."

"Me neither," Gwaine said. "And I've been everywhere."

Even when Arthur came to help, it was still hopeless.

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><p><strong>If you'd like to solve the crossword puzzle they're trying to do, you'll find the clues and boxes here: <strong>

**http (colon slash slash) s1125_dot_photobucket_dot_com/albums/l597/krisiiix/Merlin/**

**If you have any questions or want to see the answers, PM me **


	37. Protecting Destiny

**Protecting Destiny**

"Merlin," Arthur said weakly from the ground. He pressed his hand to his stomach and it came away stained in blood. Merlin stood trembling between the prince and the bandits in the woods.

Merlin's hands shook where he gripped his sword. He chanced a look back at his friend lying on the ground, too injured to move. "Arthur," his voice wobbled. "Please... forgive me."

"What for?" Arthur choked out as the bandits rushed forward. He tried to sit up and Merlin closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said. There was a flash and bandits went up in smoke. Arthur froze.

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><p><strong>I am still suffering from writer's block in the evilest of forms ... any cures? Did you guys enjoy the crossword? I realized that the question about the bravest one of all should have said the bravest knight (in legend) meaning Lancelot. Sorry for any confusion!<strong>


	38. Mordred the Dreaded Druid

**momo9momo - here's your Mordred whump with lots of love. I can't believe Mordred hasn't been in my drabbles so far ... well this will remedy that!**

I love Asa Butterfield ... :)

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><p><strong>Mordred the Dreaded Druid! (and if that's <em>not<em> a tongue twister...)**

Mordred glared at the two women, one blonde, one brunette, as they pinched his cheeks and mussed up his hair, muttering endearments in the language of the Old Religion. He flinched and swatted away a pale hand.

"I'm not a baby," he said. "I'm a very powerful druid!" He pouted a bit, but that just made the two witches grin and try to hug him. "Get off me!" He pulled out of their grip and dashed into the woods.

Morgause cast a spell and little…

"I'm NOT little!"

…little Mordred found himself in a yellow teddy bear costume.

"Isn't he so cute?" Morgana squealed.


	39. Uther's Jar of Dirt

**Hm, yes I'm in a bit of a Pirates mood right now although I'm not sure why. I just got my room painted so I'm writing drabbles while inhaling paint fumes. Maybe that's why...  
><strong>A/N: mild crossover

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><p><strong>Uther's Jar of Dirt<strong>

Uther could not stop staring at the jar on the table in front of him. It was filled with dirt.

"Why do I want a jar of dirt?" He asked.

"It may aid us greatly, sire. With the Pict tribes crossing the channel from Hibernia, this could mean victory for Camelot," Gaius said.

"And this … jar of dirt is going to help us when we have no navy to speak of?"

"It will, sire. Don't worry. Merlin's bringing the heart."

"The _heart?_"

"Yes, the heart… Oh here it is!"

Merlin dumped the beating sack on the table, glad to be rid of it.


	40. Consolation

I can't believe it ... season 4 isn't coming out in America until 2012. I don't think I'll be able to stand it! D:  
>Someone better be streaming it for me to watch or I'll go crazy. XD! unless that TS Bill passes which gives up to 5 years in jail for streaming. Bleh. Vote no!<p>

A/N: I haven't been able to think up humorous things for awhile ... it may be some sort of disease, but I'm not sure yet. So for now, you'll have to be satisfied with this.

**Please review!**

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><p><strong>Consolation <strong>

"Sometimes I just don't know where to turn," Merlin shook and cradled his head in his hands, trying to stop the tears leaking from his eyes. "I- I feel…"

"Trapped?" Arthur laid a hand on his servant's back comfortingly. "Like you don't know which way to turn?"

Merlin raised his head a bit and nodded, "Yeah… how did you…?"

"A very wise friend once said those words to _me_." Arthur's gaze was very solemn. "Merlin…"

"Thanks," Merlin smiled lopsidedly and sat up a bit more.

"That's better," Arthur clapped him on the shoulder. "We'll get through this together, Merlin. I promise."


	41. Flying Sorcerers' Revenge

**Flying Sorcerers**

Uther cowered in the corner of his chambers. A jar of fireflies sat on his desk, blinking softly in the dark.

"We want you to suffer," the fireflies said softly. "As we have suffered at your hands! You shall never impale our brethren again!" The jar containing the fireflies was shattered, insects flying everywhere.

"Aaaahhhh!" Uther wailed, shielding his eyes from the flying sorcerers. There were so many. They were so tiny. "Stay back!" He drew his dagger. "Stay away from me!"

Sir Leon and the Knights of Camelot burst into the chambers upon hearing his cries.


	42. A Song Spell

A/N: anachronisms; Merlin gives Morgana a theme song to make her paranoid

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><p><strong>A Song Spell<strong>

Merlin peeked out from behind a heavy drape. He hoped his spell had worked. She was coming.

Morgana came down the corridor in her billowing red cloak, her shoes clicking loudly on the marble floors. All was quiet in the castle … until …

_Dunnnnnnnn! Dundun dundun dunnnnn!_

_Sing once again with me our strange duet!  
>My power over you grows stronger yet!<br>And though you turn from me to glance behind!  
>The Phantom of the Opera is there inside your mind!<em>

"What the hell?" Morgana whirled around, looking for the 'Phantom'. The music was following her.

Merlin chuckled softly to himself.


	43. Déjà Vu

**Déjà Vu**

It was terrible. Nimueh was back. In fact, everything since Merlin had arrived at Camelot was happening to him again.

"What's going on?" Merlin waved the torch a bit at Kilgharrah. "Everything in my life is repeating itself!"

The Great Dragon chuckled deep in his throat. "You are not the only one." The chains clanked on the stone. "All of us are trapped like this."

"I don't understand," Merlin said.

"Until Season Four comes, we are doomed to repeat everything."

"Who is Sezanfôr? Is he some powerful sorcerer who can help us?"

"I am afraid not."

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><p><strong>AN: I, for one, cannot wait until Sezanfôr comes! I really liked this chapter -grins crazily- idk ... I woke up to the sound of lawnmowers and immediately thought "DEJA VU!"**

**Thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews! Almost to 100 ... that's a first for me at least.**


	44. All Part of my Plan!

**So I'm sorry! I know I haven't updated in quite awhile but I was busy. Really. And today I was down with a raging headache but somehow watching S03E10 made me feel better ^^ ya'll know why~**

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><p><strong>All Part of my Plan<strong>

"You again!" Arthur frowned at the old man in the red robe. "I don't know how you managed to escape the last time, but I promise you that this time-"

"Pine trees!" Dragoon the Great spat in a squeaky voice.

"… I beg your pardon?"

_Really, Merlin? That's the best you've got?_ He mentally slapped himself.

"You heard me!" Dragoon squinted at Arthur and brandished a pine bough. "Beware the pine trees!"

"I'm sorry?" Arthur began looking utterly flustered.

"It's all part of my plan!"

"_What_ plan? Your last one failed. How are _pine trees_ going to help you this time?"

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><p>Would anybody like a part II to this? Review please ^^!<p>

This is when it gets sad at the end of the month. All the lovely story stats his 0 again xD


	45. All Part of my Plan! II

Summary: Dragoon still isn't too sure of his plan... Is he ever? XD  
>AN: This may not be as funny to you if you haven't heard of The Teddy Bear Picnic song... which sounds strangely ominous. lol And I think "bruna" means water (from a well) in Old English...?

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><p><strong>All Part of my Plan! - part II<strong>

"This time … definitely!" Dragoon spat, crinkling his eyes up again. Arthur had sat down in a chair and massaged his temples.

"So… your plan is?"

"_Prophecy_!" Dragoon corrected.

"What?"

Dragoon rubbed his hands together. "If you go out to the woods today," he intoned in a husky voice, "You'd better not go alone."

Arthur furrowed his brow and looked up at the ceiling. "Or what?"

"Exactly!"

"You're just stalling for time."

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are," he said. "I should run you through."

Dragoon snorted. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Why not?"

"Because … because…_Bruna!" _Arthur was drenched.

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><p>This series just hit over 100 reviews! (hawkflyer667 was the 100th reviewer) I love you guys, thanks so much ^^ Almost half way through - can it get to 200? (: That would make me very happy.<p> 


	46. The Muffin Mishap

**The Muffin Mishap**

Merlin decided to bake Arthur a batch of muffins. He tossed some ingredients into one of Gaius' experimentation bowls and recited his muffin spell that was absolutely fool-proof since it always produced the tastiest muffins.

But Merlin had forgotten to wash the bowl.

And Gaius had been using it for toad paste.

"Something must have gone wrong," Merlin said in horror as the muffins began to leap about the physician's quarters. "Ástyntaþ!" He shouted, hoping to subdue the muffins. They were not obeying him.

"Merlin! _What have you done?_" Gaius shouted as the toad-muffins converged on the old physician, trilling madly.

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><p>*Ástyntaþ = stop (plural, imperative) I think...<p> 


	47. The Last of Anything

**I think I'm getting highlights so that will be awesome :D And I just found the entire Merlin panel at the San Diego Comic Con on YouTube so I'm super happy and I watched it nth number of times... Did any of you guys go this year?**

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><p><strong>The Last of Anything<strong>

Leaving was one of the hardest things he'd ever done in his life. He wasn't sorry for who he was, but sometimes he wished he was just _like everybody else_.

No, that was an untruth. He was proud of his gift and wouldn't exchange it for anything in the world.

Except perhaps the woman he loved. The life he had built for himself. The chance that Uther Pendragon would stop the Purge and leave his kind in peace. Gods, he didn't even know how Hunith was faring now; it had been so long.

Now all he had was a memory and the guilt.

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><p>I reaaally wish they'd have a baby Merlin episode. But then we wouldn't the cuteness that is Colin ... unless they did something to shrink him? *huggles* A tiny neckerchief too!<p> 


	48. SinginglikeaSailorRoaringlikeaDragon

**Well xoxo Lucifer's Daughter, you have your funnies ^-^ thanks for the motivation - I just hadn't had any humourous inspiration in awhile :D I hope you like this!**

**I'll try my best with more regular updates so expect some more regular updates. On with the fic! _Please review~_**

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><p><strong>Singing Like A Sailor; Roaring like a Dragon<strong>

Arthur was summoned to the forest by Lancelot one afternoon, claiming it was an important magical emergency. When he got there…

"Gods, Gwaine! I cannot _believe_ you got Merlin's dragon drunk… _again!_" Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. Gwaine chuckled drunkenly and tripped, landing sprawled across Kilgharrah's foreleg. The dragon emitted a throaty roar ending in an impressive belch before he snapped up another barrel of mead, knocking it back with gusto.

The dragon and the knight dissolved into drunken laughter that included several spurts of fire, much to Arthur's dismay, as alcohol tended to be explosive.


	49. Another Round!

**Well here we are again! Not much has happened recently... I had a dream that _Merlin_ was being shot on my front lawn and then I fell out the window. Spectacular really. Anyway, thank you to everyone who's been reviewing.**

**xoxo Lucifer's Daughter - I'm sorry to disappoint! But Uther holds a very tiny cupboard-sized place in my heart and I don't think I'll hang him. I'll leave revenge up to the fireflies.**

**Oh and what is up with this drinking trend in my drabbles all of a sudden? XD**

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><p><strong>Another Round!<strong>

The Rising Sun was terribly crowded. Sir Leon pushed his way through the crowds to order another round for the knights, Lancelot, who was drowning his sorrows over Gwen, Elyan, who was just having some fun, and Gwaine, who was … already inebriated, but it couldn't hurt to have another tankard, right?

"Sir Leon!" A peppy new barman grinned, "What will it be?"

"_Merlin?_ What are you doing here?"

"I work here now. It's better than my old job." His neckerchief was gone and his sleeves were rolled up. In a whisper he added, "And I get all the ladies."


	50. Gwaine's Lost Sword

Title: Lost Sword  
>Summary: Gwaine's sword has gone missing... or maybe it's just in disguse?<br>A/N: set during Season 1 or 2 -'cause Morgana is not evil here (even though Gwaine wasn't around and hadn't seen the Fisher king, but this is AU so deal lol)  
>Rating: T for suggestiveness lol just imagine Arthur's confusion. xD<p>

Where have all the reviews gone, guys? If you've got any ideas or prompts please let me know, I'd love to try them out.

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><p><strong>Lost Sword<strong>

"Have you seen my sword, Gwen?" Gwaine asked.

"Very funny," she replied and brushed past him with a bouquet of lilies towards Morgana's chambers.

It did not occur to him until much later: _Lilies… wait a minute!_ Gwaine dashed back into the castle and up the stairs, nearly knocking over Arthur as he was heading out.

"Whoa Gwaine, where are you off to in such a hurry?" Arthur smirked at Gwaine's tussled appearance.

"... Misplaced my sword," he panted. "Think it's in Morgana's chambers."

"You _misplaced _your _sword_ in Morgana's chambers?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's probably in a vase or something."


	51. Killing Mordred

A/N: lol whump! but Mordred is too cute to die ^^ Review please? :D

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><p><strong>Killing Mordred<strong>

Merlin let out a small sigh of relief. He had him now. There was no way Mordred was going to get out of this one. Merlin crept up on the druid boy, feeling only slightly unnerved about doing this to a child.

_But he's an evil child_, Merlin reminded himself fiercely. _He'll kill Arthur unless I kill him first_.

Merlin crouched down behind a screen of brambles and prepared the spell, eyes glowing a brilliant gold.

When suddenly -

"There you are, Mordred!" Morgana snapped. "Morgause needs you to polish her armor, wash her socks, and clean her cauldron. Now!"

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><p>Okay, it's like almost 1 am and I am <em>exhausted<em>. But because I love you guys, I stayed up to write this after working on my Lord of the Rings stuff. So you are loved.


	52. The Arthur Fish

This was inspired by none other than skellerbvvt's _Coffeeshop Muffins_. Gwen gets all flaily over an Arthur fish and a Merlin fish. ^^ Please review!

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><p><strong>The Arthur Fish<strong>

"New pet, Merlin?" Gwaine picked up the glass tank, disturbing the rest of a very ferocious-looking fish. Said fish snapped its jaws at the knight and thrashed madly in the water. Gwaine set it down.

Merlin said, "Um, well…" the fish glared, if glaring was possible for a fish. "He's…"

Gwen burst into the physician's chambers looking distraught, "I can't find Arthur anywhere!" She wrung her hands.

A smug look fluttered over Gwaine's face. With a roguish smile, he hoisted up the glass tank and deposited it in a nervous Gwen's hands. The fish cuddled the glass near Gwen.

"I knew it!" Gwaine crowed.


	53. Dozing Off on the Job

**A/N: Oh my goodness *rips at hair* life has been so busy lately and I'm sooo behind in updating my fics. Enormous apologies to everyone! It's been raining quite a lot here recently... my lawn has turned into a swamp. At least my toad will enjoy jumping in the puddles later ^^ ****So I watched Braveheart yesterday. But you probably don't care much about that lol xD Anyway... on the with drabble and don't forget to review, please.**

**Summary: Merlin falls asleep in Arthur's tub while he's waiting for the prince to return from training.**

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><p><strong>Dozing Off on the Job<strong>

"I believe that's my bathtub you're in."

Merlin jerked awake to the sound of the prince's voice.

"Sire!" He exclaimed and made to get up, slightly hindered by his sopping wet clothes. Arthur frowned.

"What are you doing?"

Merlin scratched his head, trying in vain to think up an excuse. "I was just…ah. I wasn't bathing."

"Well no, Merlin. Unless you like to bathe in your clothes…" Arthur crossed his arms. "So what were you doing?"

Merlin put on his trademark grin, "I was um testing the water for you, sire. Looks hot enough now. I'll get you a towel."


	54. Finally

**A/N: You guys get a double update to make up for lost time.  
>Lucifer's Daughter - here's the topic you requested... hope it's something along the lines of what you wanted.<strong>

**Please please review! You guys have been so quiet on the past updates ): Let me know what you think!**

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><p><strong>Finally<strong>

The guards restraining Arthur tightened their grip as he lunged forward towards his father. Uther was chained to the cell wall, an expression of suffering welded to his face. Morgana stood in the shadows, eyes glowing gold and hand outstretched towards the father that had disowned her.

"Are you ready to die, Uther?" Her voice was like silk.

"Father! No!" Arthur's face was twisted in anger towards his half-sister. "Morgana you cannot do this!"

"Of course I can. You're _both_ going to die."

Morgana jerked the string on her mandrake root. Uther made a strangled yell before he fell silent.


	55. Servants' Revolt

**A/N: Some of you asked for a sequel to the last drabble so I believe I shall write one. This, however, is not the sequel lol. Just some plot bunny that jumped me while I was cooking shrimp and baking apple bread. (be jealous- I can smell it baking now~ xD) So anyway, here we are at over 100 reviews! You guys are awesome, I love you all. Please keep reviewing and tell me what you think of the drabbles.**

**Summary: The servants of Camelot take their cues from Merlin, unbeknownst to him of course.**

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><p><strong>Servants' Revolt<strong>

It was, all of Camelot's servants minus Merlin had to admit, a truly revolutionary plan. The king couldn't possibly execute them all. Besides, the prince's manservant got away with it.

And that was how it began. It was subtle at first, but as the servants got the hang of it, the prattle and surly retorts rolled off their tongues quite easily.

"This has to stop," Uther shouted at Merlin who had no notion what was going on or why the servants were behaving strangely.

But at the end of the week, it was Merlin who found himself in the stocks.

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><p>Poor Merlin xD Review?<p> 


	56. Finally : part II

**Finally (2/3)**  
><strong>Summary: Morgana is taking her revenge on Uther and Arthur, but Merlin is there to save the day!<strong>

**A/N: Well here it is ^^ You guys requested a sequel. Sorry it took so long to upload - I've been working on a few other fics and there is Hurricane Irene to worry about. My cousins have been evacuated in downstate Delaware and college move-in has been postponed for them. So, stay safe everyone on the East Coast in the States! Hoard your water and flash lights... but if you've got Merlin with you, no need to worry I guess. Just stay safe everyone! And review lol**

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><p>Uther's strangled gasps faded as he toppled to the floor of the cell at his daughter's feet. Morgana smirked and let the mandrake root fall beside the dead king.<p>

"MORGANA!" Arthur snarled, struggling against the guards restraining him. "No!" His eyes were plastered to the lifeless eyes of his father. His king had had many faults, but he was still the only parent Arthur had ever known.

"Dear brother, I'm so sorry. But I'm afraid you're in my way to the throne." She unsheathed the dagger Arthur had given her. "I may have found a use for your gift yet."

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><p><strong>P.S. You should check out my new "Awkward Drabbles" series <strong>_[FF(dot)net/s/7322932/1/Awkward_Drabbles]_ **I haven't found an 'awkward moments' in this fandom yet, so I started one. Please review - they're short; it'll only take a minute ***thumbs up*** d(-_^)b**


	57. Finally : part III

**Finally part 3**

The guards holding Arthur flew back against the wall. Morgana turned towards the stairs in shock. Who would ruin her plans now?

Merlin stood on the stairs, hand outstretched towards the witch. "You will not hurt him."

"Traitor!" Morgana spat. She threw the knife at the prince but it rebounded off a thin blue shield of light.

"You will not hurt him." Merlin repeated and went to stand beside his friend. Arthur drew his sword, flustered at this turn of events and at being protected by _Mer_lin, but this was it.

They charged towards Morgana together, spells and swords colliding.


	58. Baby Naming Advice from the Slash Dragon

**Slash Dragon**

Summary: The dragon calls out to Merlin again to discuss his destiny with Arthur.  
>Warning(s): mild-slash innuendo and Confused!Merlin<br>A/N: I don't know why this didn't become apparent sooner … seriously! Now, on with the drabble. **Please review**!

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><p>Merlin frowned behind the torch flame. "If this is about Albion's future…"<p>

"If Albion is to be born, Arthur must become king."

"Why, so he can change the laws and marry me? I already told you, I don't want -"

"_Merlin…_"

"But Albion is a weird name for a child," Merlin complained. "I'm not naming my child 'Albion' no matter what you say! …And I'm almost certain I can't have babies … or Arthur for that matter."

The dragon chuckled, "Young warlock, I wasn't even talking about children! You're putting words in my mouth."

"You – what? Not children?"

"No…"


	59. New Boots

**I got blood taken today at a different medical facility and ... Merlin's non-existent-Beard, that HURT. The lady practically ran my arm through with the needle ;_; I came away in one piece, thankfully.**

**Now, where have all the reviews gone? Tis not extremely encouraging... You make me sad. ):**

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><p><strong>New Boots<strong>

Arthur came to a startling and terribly bothersome realization one day. He hadn't really taken much notice before, but…

Merlin was _taller_ than him.

Not that it should matter because Merlin is always annoying so-why-should-this-be-any-different? But, Arthur thought, he was much manlier than Merlin and should therefore be superior in height.

"Merlin, go pick up my new boots from the cobbler."

Merlin returned later with a pair of new boots. Each boot had a raised heel of about two inches. And it wasn't until Arthur went to train his knights that he realized heels are terribly hard to fight in.

**Please review?**


	60. Incarceration

**A/N: First off, I want to say thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. You guys made my day with your kind words ^^ **

**The fireflies are back (: **

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><p><strong>Incarceration<strong>

The dungeons of Camelot were bursting. Possibly thousands of individuals condemned for sorcery had been crammed in the cells, each in their own separate jar. When the cart loads of firefly jars were brought in, Sir Leon had questioned the king, thinking there to be some mistake.

"Sire, you are imprisoning _insects_?" He asked as politely as he could.

"Yes," came the king's curt reply. "They are sorcerers who have been conspiring against me and they will be executed at dawn."

"...Might this be conducted _in private_?"

"No, the courtyard will do. I want the entire city to see this!"

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><p>Oh Uther xD the humiliation! (See, Lucy D? This is why I need to keep Uther around. He perpetuates my Firefly Drabbles!)<p>

**Part II will be uploaded later today (: stay tuned!**


	61. To the Chopping Block!

**A/N: Sorry it's so late! 9:15pm here.. I meant to post this earlier this afternoon, but after I got back from a university visit/tour I was exhausted. Hip problems from traipsing about or something since I get inflammed joints all the time ): Not fun! But my fingers still type fanfiction for you guys to read (:**

**I just finished Dragonfly In Amber by Diana Gabaldon ... Needless to say, I'm going à la bibliothèque demain to take out Voyager. Have any of you read the OUTLANDER series? They are stunning. 'maryfaithpeace' on Etsy sells book beads... little beads with the book covers on them. I think I'm getting the earrings for Christmas (: Anyway, enough about my literary obsessions. On with MERLIN!**

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><p><strong>To the Chopping Block!<strong>

The citizens of Camelot milled about in the courtyard in front of the chopping block. They watched as, one by one, jars containing insects were piled on the platform. Uther stood on the balcony, arms folded as he watched his retribution being carried out.

"The fireflies you see here have been using magic. They glow yellow, just as the eyes of sorcerers do. Consequently, they are all to be executed. Let this be an example to you all!"

The axe fell towards the firefly but, being a tiny insect, the axe missed and the executioner lost a finger or two.

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><p><strong>(This is implying that the executioner had to hold the bug steady.) And thanks again to everyone who has reviewed (:<strong>


	62. Baby Pictures

**A/N: takes place when Arthur is king and Merlin is court warlock (we all assume he'll make Merlin a court member lol) Please review!**

**Anachronism warnings ... or you could just say the pictures were drawings (:**

***This idea was taken from Chapter 10 my 'Awkward Moments' drabble series. (which you should go read!)**

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><p>"He was thin then too." Arthur remarked, leaning over the picture in fascination.<p>

Hunith nodded, "He was a special baby, always up to his tricks."

The second picture showed an infant Merlin lighting the hearth fire with his magic. Arthur laughed but then pulled up short as something else caught his attention. He asked Hunith about it.

Hunith chuckled, "Oh yes. It was quite shocking, but he was born that way."

"That can't be possible. There is no way…"

"Magic works in strange ways, my lord."

"Yes, it certainly does." Arthur was amazed: Merlin had been born with his neckerchief!

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><p><strong>Please check out my new story 'A Delicate Matter' and give a review ^^<strong> It's got a rubbish summary, but I promise you it's not that bad. Anyway, it's about time I wrote something longer than a drabble since I've been neglecting my LOTR long!fic.


	63. Field of Blood: Camlann

**Camlann**

He was dead. But for some ungodly reason he felt as though a thousand knives had been thrust through his skull. Was he in Avalon? If he were, why did his head hurt so much? No, he thought, he couldn't be in Avalon, the sky was a dull red. Definitely hell then; yes hell. He had killed many people, but what of his destiny? Merlin took a mental stock of his injuries. He couldn't feel his legs; were they still there? With considerable effort, he cracked the layer of dried blood sealing his eyelids and looked up.

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><p>Hm... want a part II? If not we shall move on to something else. (:<p> 


	64. Field of Blood: Camlann II

Wow, I had no idea that would generate such a reaction. And, poohunne, I apologise for being a 'silly writer' and leaving you all with a whump and a cliffie xDD haha. Your review made me laugh so much.

Well folks, Merlin isn't out of the woods yet. (Actually, he's in a field so technically he _is_ out of the woods, but that's beside the point!)

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><p><strong>Field of Blood: Camlann Part II <strong>

As he emerged into awareness, the blinding sunlight reflecting off a helmet made him recoil, blinking furiously. He struggled to sit up and winced as pain shot through his back and his legs began tingling. Ah, so they hadn't been lopped off. What was wrong then?

An armor clad knight lay across his lower half. Merlin grunted, trying to free his legs from the dead weight. The knight's blood streaked his hands and shirt and the head lolled like a kicked-in melon on a withered vine.

Merlin couldn't hold back the strangled yell that escaped his lips. It was Arthur.

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><p>Oooh, I did <em>not <em>just do that, did I? -evil grin-


	65. Field of Blood: Camlann III

"You're going to be alright, Arthur." Merlin had managed to drag Arthur away from the rest of the bodies. Now he leaned against a tree, weakened from his wounds and exhaustion. Arthur lay beside him, his head cradled in Merlin's lap. Merlin had stripped off Arthur's cumbersome armor, hoping he wasn't hurting Arthur in the process.

"I shouldn't have gotten distracted," Merlin muttered ruefully. "If I ever find Mordred…"

The sky darkened with great thunderheads and the rain began to come down in silver curtains. Merlin tugged Arthur closer to him and spread his cloak out.

"M-merlin."

"I'm here, Arthur."

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><p><strong>There you are, the end of the III-parter (: Hope you enjoyed it! Now we shall move on... lol Please review!<strong>


	66. The High Heels Strike Again

**A/N: Thought I'd do a little follow-up to "New Boots" (: Arthur in high heels xD Please review! Part II will come faster that way, aye?**

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><p>Arthur scowled at the heeled boots in his hands. What use were they in making him taller if he couldn't even walk properly in them? Arthur scrunched up his face at those horrifying memories of training.<p>

_His normally confident walk became something akin to a wobble and his knees stuck out at an unnatural angle from having to step toe-first. Gwaine raised an eyebrow but didn't offer any of his usual peanut-gallery commentary. Training commenced._

"_One!"_

"_Two!"_

_Stumble._

"_Three!"_

_Teeter._

He had done a spectacular face-plant that day. Arthur hurled the boots at the door just as the latch turned.

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><p><strong>Please visit my profile and vote for your favourite fic. I'm interested to know which ones of mine are the most popular. Thank you!<strong>


	67. Don't be such a GIRL, Arthur

**Here's the last little installment, folks! Please review (: And don't forget to do the poll on my profile. Thank you.**

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><p><em>Oof! <em>

"F-father!" Arthur straightened up a bit in a last attempt to salvage his composure. Uther looked as though he had swallowed something particularly sour as he rubbed his sore forehead. Stooping down, the king lifted the offending boot and eyed it curiously.

Arthur flamed crimson at a loss for words.

Uther nodded absently still examining the heeled boot. "I'll take it that you weren't expecting a visitor, and that this… _unfortunate _episode won't happen again. It isn't proper to throw footwear around."

Arthur nodded curtly. "Yes, father."

Uther gave the boot another look, "Is this one of Morgana's shoes?"


	68. Numbers

**If you haven't voted in my poll, please do (: I am très curious. lol. Anyway, I stuck a new little fic up called "Vocabuarly of the Times." So far it's a conglomeration of sentences I had to write for an English exercise... mostly Merlin themed with some Monty Python. I might or might not expand on it, so let me know what you think please!**

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><p>"What are you doing?" Arthur peered over Merlin's shoulder at the little device he held in his hand.<p>

"Texting Lancelot."

"What's texting? It sounds like sorcery."

"It's not," Merlin muttered, violently smashing his fingers about. Arthur frowned and left the room.

Uther strolled down the hallway looking absurdly smug, "Ah, Arthur!"

"Father?"

"I've just got this new little mobile. Do you know Gaius' number?"

"Number?"

"Yes, everyone has a number with the new system. Oh excuse me," Uther flipped open his mobile and began pounding it with his thumbs. Arthur frowned again.

"Will someone _please_ tell me what's going on?"

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><p>*sniffle* where did all the reviews go? ): Oh well.<p> 


	69. Goodbye Gwen

**A/N: Hope this one's better than the last one. lol But seriously, isn't this one rather awkward? xD **

**I was working at the Arboretum's scarecrow-making family event and I made a Merlin scarecrow. Pics on my LJ - chaine_maille (: I'm dead tired from raking up hay and the like and running around xD so, while I take a nap, why don't you read and review this drabble?**

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><p><strong>Good bye Gwen<strong>

"You're not leaving again, Lancelot?" Gwen asked with tears in her eyes. Lancelot bowed his head and stroked her hair gently.

"I'm never very good with staying, Gwen." He admitted softly. "But I will always love you."

"Then why are you going?" She demanded.

"I have a career and it is important to me."

"Fighting half-naked men in a cage is more important than me?"

Lancelot fidgeted and glanced out the window.

"Is it?" Gwen asked again, rather perturbed now.

"Um," Lancelot shrugged noncommittally. "You've changed me forever."

"You've said that a thousand times before!"

Lancelot ducked the flying crockery.


	70. Bath Time in Camelot

**A/N: Helloo again everyone (: Sunday nights are depressing... but I think you know what'll cheer me up. This drabble was inspired by "Awkward Moments" **(This drabble takes place during series one.)

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><p><strong>Bath Time<strong>

Arthur leaned forward in the tub a bit, rolling his shoulders. "Do me a favor and wash my back, eh Merlin?"

Merlin rolled his eyes and scooped up a cloth, dutifully scrubbing the prince's back. Arthur sighed in pleasure as he felt the grime cleaned away.

"One day, _sire_ you'll have to wash your own back."

"Shut up, Merlin," Arthur said. "You–" The door creaked open and Arthur whipped around, sloshing water over the edge.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, sire! I didn't mean to interrupt your bath-time with Merlin!" Gwen hurriedly retreated, leaving behind an embarrassed prince and manservant.


	71. Gwaine

**This update is dedicated to WaitingOnTheWorld. She just went and reviewed almost all of the chapters- Thank you! :D **

**Summary: Gwaine mistakes Merlin for a lady of the evening... or something along those lines. You never know with Gwaine... **

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><p>"Gwaine?" Merlin took a hasty step back from the drunken knight. Gwaine's face broke into a smile and he reached an arm clumsily around Merlin's waist.<p>

"It is such a pleasure to *hic* spend an evening with such beauty," he slurred, running a finger over Merlin's cheekbone. Merlin flinched and tried to step out of the embrace, but Gwaine held him tightly. "Yooou can't get away fro' me that easily!" He raised his tankard. "Come back to my place!"

Merlin pried the groping hand off his body. "You don't even _have_ a 'place', Gwaine."

"But if I *hic* did?"

"No."

Gwaine pouted.


	72. Tu ne comprends pas, Uther ?

**A/N:** Sorry I haven't updated in quite awhile. I couldn't think of any good drabbles to put up. But since I was writing a French essay, I figured - ah ha! (:

This one SO had it coming. Bradley was saying how all of his knights were French ... and then the. You know. (: **-Video diary refs-**

Please review - you guys have been so quiet. ):

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><p>- Quelle bonne idée, mon seigneur. Je dirai aux chevaliers et nous partirons toute de suite. The knight bowed and went to prepare the others for the scouting mission. Uther frowned deeply.<p>

"What did he say?" The king demanded, sweeping his gaze around the room towards his son. "I hate it when they babble in that language!"

"It's French, father." Arthur said, hands folded behind his back as he tried not to find amusement with his father's confusion.

"Then perhaps you know what he said? He could have been mocking me!"

Arthur shrugged, « Je ne comprend pas. Je suis anglais. »


	73. Violence Inherent In The System

Arthur couldn't believe this.

"Strange women lying in ponds, distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!"

A mud-covered peasant was arguing heatedly with Merlin.

"Freya isn't strange," Merlin snapped. "If you insult her again!"

"You'll what?"

Merlin fumed. The peasant scoffed, "You can't expect your king there to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at him!"

"Be quiet!" Merlin yelled.

"I mean, if I went around saying I was king just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!"

"Will you shut up!"

"Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"


	74. Tim the Enchanter

"State your name and business, Sorcerer." Arthur held the tip of his sword to the man's back. The old man whirled, staff in hand. Arthur and his knights took an involuntary step back at the man's ferocious countenance: curling horns like a devil and a scraggly beard.

"There are some who call me… Tim." His voice went up at the end, almost as though he were unsure of whom he was. "You are searching for something King Arthur."

"You-you know my name?"

"Yes."

"Ah. Well, I am looking for something. A gg- a gg-."

"A GRRRLAIL?" _A nearby mountain exploded._

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><p><strong>Up Next: Merlin's misadventure in Castle Anthrax - coming in multiple parts! Stay tuned, my Python fans!<strong>


	75. Misadventures and New Sensations

The winds howled and the rain poured down, soaking Merlin to the skin. But he must press on… he must… He could see a light in the distance. Glowing softly like a welcoming beacon.

The warlock reached the great oaken doors and pounded upon them in desperation. "Please! Let me in!" The doors swung open and he pitched forward into a warm, candle-lit foyer.

"Ohhh~" several feminine voices cooed. "Ohhh~"

"Welcome!" Merlin raised his head. "Welcome to the Castle Anthrax!"

"The… Castle _An_thrax?" He gasped, emphasizing the first syllable like Arthur.

The tall woman wrung her hands and looked apologetic.

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><p>TBC…<p> 


	76. Anthrax 2

The following drabble is rated slightly higher than K+ lol. Are we all liking these Holy Grail drabbles? Please review!

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><p>"We will cater to your every, <em>every<em> need!" Merlin was bodily led down a corridor to a room with a bed. He hesitated, but was shoved upon its feathery softness. Two physicians entered the room and began … probing him.

"There's nothing wrong with that!" Merlin assured them, cupping his hands over himself for protection.

"Please, we are _doctors_," Dr. Piglet replied, removing his hand and replacing it with her own, much firmer one. Merlin turned beet red and his breath came fast.

"I—oohhh!" Merlin leapt off the bed. "Sorry, I can't be doing this! Not here… I must find the Grail!"

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><p>Meanwhile Gwaine knocks on the castle door... TBC…<p> 


	77. Anthrax 3

Rated T/M-ish. You Holy Grail fans know why xD

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><p>"A spanking! A spanking!"<p>

Merlin looked horror-stricken at the thought of spanking a lady, but Dingo was insistent… and then there was the oral sex. He'd never tried that before.

The young warlock was despondent at being tricked. The Grail was not in Castle Anthrax. And now he was faced with a horde of sexually-frustrated women.

"HaHa!" Merlin whipped around. Lancelot was here! "HaaHaaa!" _Slashthruststrikeslash_.

"Come, Merlin! You are in peril!"

Merlin and Lancelot made their escape just as Gwaine strolled into the castle. The women converged upon the newcomer. Gwaine didn't seem to mind at all, so Lancelot left without him.

* * *

><p>alksdjflksadj SERIES 4 - OH MY NECKERCHIEF! the suspense. I cannot wait until next week! -squeee- it's just too amazing. But poor Colin must've had a cold or something filming the first episode. AHHHHH. Sorry, I'm just so excited.<p> 


	78. Caerbannogg is the name of the cave, btw

When Merlin and Lancelot rejoined Arthur, Elyan, and Percival, they were surprised to find their friends cowering behind boulders.

"Where's Gwaine?" Arthur asked. Lancelot and Merlin exchanged glances.

"Ah, what a cute rabbit," Merlin said, changing the subjet.

Arthur said, "It's not _a cute rabbit_. It bit Sir Ector's head off!"

Tim began mumbling something about nasty-big-pointed-teeth-a-mile-wide. Merlin frowned and shouldered his way past the knights and prepared to blast the little killer rodent into oblivion. His magic flew towards the rabbit and…

Nothing happened.

"My magic is useless against that beast!" Merlin wailed.

"Never fear!" Elyan said, pointing. "Gwen has brought the Holy Hand Grenade!"

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><p>That went a bit over 100 words, I'm sorry lol. But in my defense, I'm home sick again so counting words is beyond me lol (: Please vote in my <strong>poll<strong> on my profile ^^


	79. King for a Day

There will be a continuation of the Holy Grail mini series after this drabble and the next one by popular request (:

To my** Awkward Moments** readers: I'm starting a **_Society for Finding Awkwardness in Merlin_** (SFAM) If you've ever contibuted the "Awkward Moments," please feel free to brag of your elite membership in your profiles lol. Spread the Magic!

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><p><strong>King for a Day<strong>

The king had left on urgent business, leaving instructions for the citizens to recognize his most trusted follower as their temporary regent.

"Well that rules you out, Gwaine," Elyan chided. Gwaine huffed.

"So who's going to rule Camelot while the princess is gone?" He asked flippantly.

Sir Leon, ever the logical one, said, "We were to answer to his most trusted follower. So that means…"

All eyes swept towards Merlin.

"Me?"

"Arthur trusts you with his life, Merlin," Lancelot reminded him.

"But I – I can't rule Camelot!"

"Arthur left _you_ in charge."

"I don't think that's quite what he meant…"


	80. It's my Birthday!

**A/N:** Alright, I'm getting these next few chapters a bit mixed up haha. I have another drabble to post and then the continuation of the **Holy Grail series_, _**so stay tuned for that one too!

The heat is fixed in my house! No more freezing hands and weird typos. I've got that vocab sentences thing for school due tomorrow, expect another crazy chapter of **Vocabulary of the Times** tonight. Or tomorrow, depending which timezone you live in ^^

Don't forget to review! And ... did you all like the **Merlin Crossword of DOOM** I made for you guys? It's on my profile. If you haven't seen it/tried it, go do it now! It's fun, I promise (: And let me know how you liked it~

So, here's PART II to Merlin's brief reign... and well. Gwaine'll make sure it's utter chaos! If you'd like a part III, you know what to do (:

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><p><em>On with the drabble!<em>

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><p><strong>King for a Day<strong> II

Merlin sat on the throne stiff as the stone gargoyles that perched upon the outer walls of Camelot. Gaius, guardian of the temporary-regent of Camelot, hovered beside the throne like a benevolent owl and Gwen sat in the smaller chair formerly used by her mistress. Merlin had appointed both of them his advisors in Arthur's absence. The knights flanked the aisle.

"Eh-hem," Merlin began, clearing his throat. "Ah-hum." All eyes were on him. This being king business was harder than it looked. "Well," he settled for. "It's my birthday."

"Drinks all around!" Gwaine cried and the meeting promptly broke up.


	81. One! Two! Five!

**A/N:** An exceptionally long title here. lol Here's the continuation of Chapter ... 78 I believe - Gwen brings in the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! Part 3 of Merlin being the King of Camelot for a while will arrive after the next drabble, so stay tuned, folks and don't forget to review if you've got suggestions/comments etc. (:

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><p><strong>O! Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thy may blowest thine enemies to tiny bits in thy mercy. And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs ...<strong>

Elyan stared down at Gwen's tray of tea cakes. "I thought you had the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch?"

"The – Oh, um. Brother Maynard sold it to me last night. He said something about breakfast cereals and lamb and it sounded lovely."

"Guinevere, where is the grenade?" Arthur asked patiently.

"I," she held up the tea cakes. "I thought it was some sort of spice. Brother Maynard – he," Gwen stuttered, looking worried. "Well I ground it up and baked it into the tea cakes," she trailed off, setting the tray down.

Lancelot picked one up.

"Don't eat it!" Percival shouted.


	82. Mincing Words

**A/N:** Oh my goodness, I thought I had uploaded this hours ago! DX I guess not... Oh well.

the Continuation of the Holy Hand Grenade drabbles is up next. Merlin's stint as king will be written in a one-shot/two-shot thing, so stay tuned for that! Please review!

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><p><strong>Mincing Words<strong>

"Washed socks, armor polished, stables mucked."

Arthur arched an eyebrow, looking up from his desk. Merlin stood, looking breathless in the doorway.

"Don't mince your words, _Mer_lin. Are you trying to tell me that you've finished all of your chores?"

Merlin nodded mutely. The corners of Arthur's mouth turned up ever so slightly.

"Good, then you can go scrub my floors, polish my boots, and do my laundry. Oh, and the dogs need feeding… Well? Aren't you going to say some smarmy remark?"

"Arthur," Merlin said. "We've only got one-hundred words to do this! You've taken up forty-eight talking about chores!... and now I just went over the limit by eleven!"


	83. Holy Hand Grenade Tea Cakes

**A/N:** I actually make extremely delicious Russian tea cakes. If you want the recipe, I'd be happy to give it to you. Today was a sad day for me - I failed my driver's test lol xD Oh well, I've got a second go in November (: Review and cheer me up?

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><p><strong>Tea Cakes of DOOM<strong>

"I wasn't going to," Lancelot assured Percival, tossing the tea cake over his shoulder.

_BOOM_.

The knights turned slowly to where the tea cake had vanished behind some boulders. A cloud of smoke wafted towards them.

"It's a good thing you didn't, mate."

Arthur took the tray of tea cakes from Gwen, afraid she would drop them and injure herself.

"Here, let me take those, Arthur."

"Merlin, you're the last person I'd allow to hold these lethal things."

Arthur began packing the tea cakes into a pouch.

"One!"

"Two!"

"Gwaine, shut up."

"Sorry, princess."

"Five!"

"Three, sire," Leon corrected.

"THREE!"

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><p><strong>That's it for the Holy Hand Grenade drabbles, folks. Keep a lookout for the new one-shot of Merlin's temporary reign in Camelot. Subscribe to Author alert for future updates ^^<strong>

**Don't forget to vote in my POLL on my profile page - merci bcp. **


	84. Where is it?

**A/N**: I haven't quite worked out the rest of the Merlin/King fic, but I have put up 2 new one-shots!

**Hair On Fire** & **Exploding Tea Cakes**

That's right. Go read them! Hair On Fire is an extended version of Ch 35 of my Awkward Moments and Exploding Tea Cakes includes my tea cake recipe mentioned in previous drabbles within this fic. So go check them out and review please (: I'd love to know how the tea cakes turned out! They go fast at parties.

...

Morgana paced around her cave growing angrier with each stride. "Where is it?" She hissed, overturning tables and ripping down the bedclothes. "Where is it! I must find it! It has to be here!"

But her green contour eyeshadow was nowhere to be seen.

She tried using magic to find the eyeshadow and when that failed she stormed from her cave in a fury, blasting random fluffy animals with magic.

"AHHHH!" She shrieked. "How will I attain my evil villain look without green eyeshadow?"

As if in answer to her prayers, a green _cream eyeshadow_ pallet fell from the sky.


	85. The Perilous Lands Are  Perilous!

**A/N: **Alright, so I lied about the end of the Holy Grail miniseries.

...

"But, the Perilous lands are … perilous!" Merlin needlessly reminded Arthur. The prince fixed his manservant with a strange look before turning back to his saddle bags.

"Merlin, if I ever need someone to state the obvious…"

"Sorry," Merlin said, not sounding sorry at all. "So what exactly are we going after?"

"I can't tell you and you can't come with me." Merlin looked crestfallen.

Arthur pressed his lips together, determined not to disclose the nature of his quest. But Merlin's imploring eyes made him give in.

"I'm to buy a shrubbery there. A nice one that isn't too expensive."

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><p>That was from <strong>NotQuietBerserk<strong>'s awkward moment. "That awkward moment when Arthur's quest is to go to the perilous lands and buy... A shrubbery!"


	86. Gwaine's Gallant Return

Gwaine came staggering into Camelot one day. Merlin and Gwen rushed out to help him to Gaius' chambers.

"Where have you _been_?" Merlin asked. Gwaine had disappeared for several months.

Heaving a sigh, Gwaine replied, "Merlin, my friend. It takes quite awhile to get around to all the ladies of Anthrax."

"Anthrax?" Gwen asked, eyes wide. "You were curing people? How humanitarian of you, Gwaine. Gaius would be proud of you." She smiled warmly at him and went to fetch him a cool cloth.

Merlin laughed when Gwen had gone. "You mean the _Castle_ Anthrax?"

"Yeah, what's she talking about?"

* * *

><p>Please review (: I'd love your ideasprompts/feedback!

**A Delicate Matter** just wrapped tonight (: Woohoo~


	87. Pitchers At Midnight

**A/N:** I haven't updated this series in forever! I'm sorry guys. I've been sick and busy and sick and busy and then occupied with my _Awkward Moments_ fic (which you should go read if you haven't already) and writing several one-shots (which you should also read/review). I've also been entering writing contests in hopes of getting published. _Naisa_ another lovely person here is publishing a book on the Kindle and I designed the cover – you should nip over to her profile page and have a look. The book, Poppy Girl, comes out on the Kindle this month and it looks fantastic.

If you'd like to talk, PM me or something, and we'll talk (: Are you guys ready for episode 6? It looks majorly epic! I can't wait.

Another note with recipes: if you're interested in a really delicious homemade Caesar dressing I make… PM me for the recipe :D

_Now, on with the drabble! Please review._

_..._

Merlin cringed as the bed creaked ominously beneath his knees. The king rolled over in his sleep and Merlin held his breath. Reaching for the fallen pitcher, Merlin slipped and fell sprawled across Arthur.

Arthur woke with a start.

"M-Merlin?" He sat up causing Merlin to roll away. "What the _hell_ are you doing?"

"Checking for woodworm," Merlin replied automatically, pinning his ear to the nearest bedpost.

"In the middle of the night? –_Don't_ tell me they're active _now_ as well!"

"No," Merlin shook his head seriously. "That is… woodworm are asleep now."

"I'm starting to worry about you, Merlin."


	88. I'd Like You Anyway

"Hey, Arthur, you'll never guess who I met in the lower town today," Merlin said, shrugging off his rucksack and dumping it on the floor. "This guy was smiling at me, and talking to me. He was being really friendly. I think he was coming onto me. I think he might have thought _I_ was _gay_."

Arthur frowned, "Well, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care."

"I just think it's something we should be able to talk about," Merlin replied. "If _you_ were gay, that'd be okay. I mean… 'cause hey - I'd like you anyway."

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><p>Ch.2 of "To Put It Bluntly" is up now ^^<p>

Rupert Young replied to my tweet :D


	89. Unrequited Feelings

Thank you all so much for reviewing the last update, guys! Just a side note, I made an author page on **Fb/Astizax** if you'd like to check it out for more updates/chatter/random stuff ^^

The **November Awkward Moments contest** is upon us – check out the fic and my profile for the guidelines.

I SAW CHRISTOPHER PAOLINI on tour last night! It was wonderful. I simply adored standing in line in the Law section of the Library for hours. But CP was charming and he has a lovely signature. I shall post pictures on my fb author page soon.

I'm supposed to be writing a rhetoric analysis paper now and preparing an internship presentation… but, um. Heh, heh.

Mild slash to follow because it is what it is.

...

Should he be feeling jealous? Usually, _he_ was the one who hugged Merlin. Gwaine didn't really think he'd ever see the princess- er, queen hug his filthy, muddy, manservant. It hurt just a bit to know that Merlin was _his_ best friend but would always put _Arthur_ first.

Gwaine chattered endlessly on the return ride to Camelot, making Merlin chuckle and occasionally eliciting a smile from the king. But inside, the knight was torn. One embrace. Arthur did so little to show his feelings, and yet Merlin loved him unconditionally. Gwaine wished that for once, Merlin would notice him too.


	90. CAN WE FIX THIS SOON?

**A/N** We're near the end, folks! Oh my goodness (: It's been a long haul, hasn't it? Hope you've been enjoying the drabbles - thank you all so much for your reviews on the last chapter. I plan on **expanding it into a fic** very soon, so keep your eyes peeled.

November Awkward Moments contest guidelines have been posted in my profile. Submissions should be submitted on the next AwkM update on Saturday (tomorrow) and will be open from the time Episode 7 airs on BBC One until the following day. The polls will open on Nov. 14 for voting. Again, check my profile for details - hope to see you all there.

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><p>"MERLIN, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" ARTHUR WHISPERED. MERLIN SHUSHED HIM FOR THE SECOND TIME AND POINTED URGENTLY AT THE STRANGE, RECTANGULAR OBJECT LYING ON THE FOREST FLOOR.<p>

"WE HAVE TO CATCH IT SOMEHOW," MERLIN REPLIED.

ARTHUR RAISED AN EYEBROW. "THAT SHOULD BE SIMPLE. BUT WHAT IS IT?"

"IT'S A STRAY CAPS LOCK KEY. IF WE CATCH IT, THINGS SHOULD GO BACK TO NORMAL."

"DOESN'T SOUND TOO HARD," ARTHUR SAID, DRAWING HIS SWORD. HE LEAPT OVER THE LOG AND ADVANCED UPON THE CAPS LOCK KEY WITH GREAT STEALTH. THE KEY SKUTTLED AWAY.

"GET BACK HERE!" ARTHUR SHOUTED, GIVING CHASE.


	91. The Big Reveal

MERLIN WATCHED AS ARTHUR FOUGHT THE WILD CAPS LOCK KEY. THE FIGHT WAS NOT GOING WELL SO MERLIN WHISPERED A SPELL BEHIND ARTHUR'S BACK.

HOWEVER, SINCE THE CAPS WERE OFF-KILTER, MERLIN'S WHISPER CAME OUT AS A SHOUT.

ARTHUR TURNED AROUND, STUNNED. "YOU HAVE MAGIC, MERLIN!" HE EXCLAIMED. MERLIN STARED AT ARTHUR, HORRIFIED THAT THE CAPS LOCK KEY HAD MADE HIM SHOUT THE SPELL AND REVEAL HIMSELF. THE KEY BIT ARTHUR ON THE LEG AND THE KING STABBED IT, killing it.

"is everything back to normal now?" merlin asked. the prince frowned and pointed to a shift key making for the woods.

* * *

><p>Chapter 3 of <strong>To Put It Bluntly<strong>has been posted – please check it out! :D

I believe this is the end of Arthur and Merlin's keyboard misadventures. Only a few more chapters to go and we're finished.


	92. Something Isn't Quite Right Here

"He's been like that for days," Gaius whispered to Gwen, looking at Merlin with concern. Merlin hadn't smiled or laughed or done anything idiotic in an entire week. What could have caused Merlin so much distress that he had even stopped eating?

Merlin sat on his small bed, staring listlessly at the wall. He hadn't moved since that morning. Gaius occasionally poked his head in, but Gwen was right, something was seriously wrong with Merlin.

"Merlin?" Gwen called softly. "Merlin, please speak to us. What's the matter?"

Merlin slowly turned his head and Gwen saw his eyes were bright with tears.

To be continued…


	93. He could hear it

In his mind, he could hear it. He flinched away from the sounds of shredding fabric but they plagued his waking moments as well as his dreams.

_NOOO!_ Merlin shouted over and over again. He gripped his head, willing the sounds to go away. Morgana had finally found a way to torture him.

Gaius, Arthur, and Gwen stood around Merlin as he keened. Arthur laid his hand on Merlin's shoulder, but the manservant flinched violently.

"She has it," he squeaked, the first words he'd spoken in a week. "Please – I need it back. She's torturing it."

"Torturing what?" Gaius asked.

To be continued…

Wow guys! Thank you so much for all of your reviews. Again, I apologise for not being able to reply individually. 1) the review reply thingy wasn't working and 2) I've been too busy. But I really appreciate it all! We're over 300 reviews now.

Are you guys ready for Lancelot du Lac tomorrow night?


	94. The Smell of Scorching Cloth

Merlin turned his tear-stained face towards his friends, eyes imploring them to help. Gwen sat down on the bed beside him and wrapped her arms around him, murmuring comforting words into his hair. Merlin sobbed, hands scrabbling at his neck for something that wasn't there.

He screamed again, feeling its pain like it was his own.

"I can't take this anymore," Arthur said. "I'm going to kill Morgana for this!"

_Morgana smirked, holding the neckerchief above the fire. "Oh, poor Merlin," she crooned evilly. She lifted her dagger and began picking off individual threads. "Can you feel its pain, Merlin?"_

Up Next... Arthur's quest to save the neckerchief! Will he get there in time?

**A/N:** It pains me to think that Merlin is airing across the pond right now. And I'm sitting at my computer preparing a presentation on Stalin, whiling away the hours until somebody uploads it for people in the States.


	95. The Black Rider

Arthur and the knights tore through the forest.

"Where exactly are we going?" Gwaine called.

Arthur replied without glancing back once, "To find Morgana and save Merlin's neckerchief. She's found some way to torture him through a mental connection."

"So, where are we going?"

"I just said – to find –."

"Sire," Leon said, "With all due respect, we don't know where in bloody hell Morgana _is_!"

The horses came to a stop in the forest as the knights considered the vital piece of information they were lacking. Then suddenly, through the trees, Elyan spotted a black rider galloping fast.

He pointed, "Is that… Agravaine?"

* * *

><p>We're almost to 100 drabbles! This little mini-series should conclude soon... and then I'll have to think up an impressive ending drabble.<p>

Of course, we all know where Agravaine is headed (: Thank you everyone for continuing to review!


	96. Morgana's hOvel

**A/N:** I've been very busy and I've also been running on very little sleep - sorry this took so long to get posted.

My birthday's on a Monday ):

This update is rather crack-ish, sorry 'bout that lol :D

* * *

><p>The knights crept forward, swords out. Morgana could be lurking in the bushes.<p>

Arthur kicked the door open and heard a scream of surprise. Morgana and Agravaine whirled around, teacups in their hands.

"A-Arthur!" Morgana exclaimed.

"Tea?" Agravaine asked lamely, earning a glare from Morgana.

"You were followed," she spat. A second later, Agravaine was turned into a black rat.

Arthur, too stunned to think coherently about his uncle's betrayal and subsequent transformation, gaped before shouting, "Give back whatever you stole from Merlin!"

Gwaine stuck the rat with a fishing rod and Morgana smirked.

"It's too late, Arthur. _Too late_."


	97. It's TOO LATE

Arthur stared helplessly into the hovel before meeting his traitorous half-sister's cold eyes.

"Too late?" His voice may have cracked in a very manly way.

"Too late," Morgana tossed her teacup into the fire along with Agravaine-the-rat's fishing-rod-impaled-corpse.

Arthur closed his mouth and Gwaine sauntered further into the room. "Where's the neckerchief, Morgana?"

"_That's_ what we came here for? All this fuss over – over, a piece of cloth!" Arthur put down his sword.

The knights looked scandalized.

Morgana smirked, tossing over a burnt scrap of cloth. "Like I said: it's too late for Merlin. He'll be dead before you return."

DUNDUNDUN… TBC.

My birthday was … not fun. Filled with a compulsory heroine education class lecture _("And after this lecture, I hope you all leave with the ill effects of heroine" – the presenter misspoke, obviously!)_, hours of coursework/studying, and no time to play the piano. But I did get the first season of Merlin on DVD, so things weren't all bad.

If you're a fan of the _Pendragon Institute_ fanfic series by ForzaDelDestino, I am working on a charm bracelet from all 4 fics that should be available for the holiday season – hopefully! Right now, it's looking to be about $25.00 USD per bracelet.


	98. Dead or Alive

Arthur and his knights returned to Camelot in a daze. Arthur stared down at the remains of the neckerchief: a little bundle of ashes and scorched cloth that was apparently linked to Merlin's life.

"Arthur?"

Arthur spun around to see Merlin leaning against the castle wall.

"Merlin! I thought we'd lost you. Morgana – she-"

"Didn't completely destroy me."

Arthur looked down at the burnt cloth. "No, she didn't. We'll keep it safe in the vaults from now on."

Merlin took a step forward. "Didn't know you cared so much," he remarked softly.

"I couldn't bear to lose you, Merlin," whispered Arthur.

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><p>Eh, not really too happy with that, but I thought I ought to update at least before Christmas and wish you all happy holidays. My bigger holiday message thingy is in the most recent chapter (63) of Awkward Moments.<p>

Arrg, chapter 98 - almost to 100. Ready for the series finale tomorrow everyone? Should be exciting ^_^"

I'd write a bit more or work on my other slash fic or my new bromance fic but I'm way too tired. This week has been dragging along; I'm glad it's finally over. So, enjoy the holidays everyone!


	99. Sorcery Inquisition part 1

"Now old man - you are accused of sorcery on three counts – sorcery by thought, sorcery by word, sorcery by deed, and sorcery by action – _four_ counts! Do you confess?" Aredian demanded, eyes narrowed as he loomed over Gaius.

"I already told you, Aredian. I am innocent," Gaius replied wearily.

Aredian motioned for one of the guards, "Fetch me … THE CUSHIONS!"

"You have one last chance, Gaius. Confess the heinous sin of sorcery, reject the works of magic – _two_ last chances. And you shall be free – _three_ last chances."

"I'm innocent."

"Well if that's the way you want it!"

TBC…


	100. Chapter 100: SAUCERY!

Gaius's look was grave when he pointed to the book. "I believe it to be a creature of saucery, sire."

"What do you mean, Gaius?" Uther asked, puzzled. Gaius was always going on about saucery and the king still had no idea what he was talking about.

"Creatures of saucery are not easily defeated, sire," Gaius explained. "They must be simmered over medium heat for hours and garnished with basil and thyme."

"Time?" Uther sputtered. "Don't be ridiculous. We will defeat this beast with steel alone."

Four hours later…

"Is the creature ready, yet Gaius? My spaghetti is getting cold."

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><p><strong>That's it, guys! Please review :D<strong>


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